Sound advice. Have you ever taken a look in the mirror. I stared into my own eyes tonight. I always say the eyes say everything. You can tell if someone is lying by their eyes, how they really feel. It’s all in the eyes. Staring into the mirror it was like seeing someone I knew a few years ago. Someone I knew pretty well but had forgotten about as life had continued passing by. It’s a surreal feeling, seeing yourself but having an mostly unfamiliar feeling associated with it. I know I’m not the person I once was. Am I better? In some ways I believe I am, in other ways I have fallen short, in some of the more important ways. I am religious, I believe in a future life, a time when I will meet God. It’s always been important to me, its something I know inside. I’ve heard people say to just throw it away, free yourself from guilt and do what you want. I’d never be happy that way, sure its crossed my mind plenty of times. It sounds so easy, tossing my cares aside and running whatever way the wind seems to blow. It would never work for me, what I believe is instilled in me, its something I can’t simply just ‘stop believing’. What’s more is its never been a hindrance to me. Yeah I have felt the guilt that follows a mistake however its never caused me to make something worse. It always pushes me to improve. The only problem is when I let it get me down, if you let it depress you it can slowly start to crush you. If I lose sight of what is the true purpose of this life, which I believe is to improve, then anything I do, means nothing. I guess what I am really saying is that I ought to take a good long look in the mirror more often. Otherwise I start to forget who I am. Its a sorrowing feeling to look at yourself and not see someone you know well. I found looking into my own eyes that I justify the way I live my life too much, I don’t even believe the crap I’m saying at this point. We are all hypocrites a little bit. It’s just fact. The best we can do is to stare ourselves in the eye, find out who we are, and improve.
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May 2, 2011 1 comment